The truth about working in the Beauty Industry - Part I
This is for all my makeup artist friends and peeps working in the beauty industry. Keep your chin up xo
————————————————————————————————-
Part I is about CUSTOMERS. I’ve broken down the most common customers into character types below:
The Time Waster (TW)
How to identify:
Customers who have no intention of buying anything but will ask you every question under the sun. They will normally be unusually friendly, in order to compensate for their upcoming annoying behaviour. She will use you for as long as she needs - perfect for the half an hour time slot she has to waste before lunch with her girlfriend at a restaurant nearby.
Example 1:
“Do you have creamy eyeshadows?”
Shows the range
“Do you have a bronzey tone with slight shimmer?”
Points out the perfect colour
“That’s perfect! I wonder if it’ll suit my blue eyes?”
Yes of course, would you like me to show you?
“Oh what a great idea! (pleased that you fell into her TW trap) Yes please!”
*Customer then asks to try in every colour under the same range*
Half an hour later....
“I absolutely love them but I think I want to try and see how long it’ll last in the sun/ rain/ snow/ my own annoyingness blah blah blah...”
Example 2:
“Oh my God (giggles). I’m soo stupid! I actually have all of these!! No wonder why I liked them so much! I would have bought them all if I didn’t have them already, how funny!”
Before adding further insult to injury by taking a long admiring look at herself in the mirror, flicking a loose strand of hair over her shoulder, sighing satisfactorily and waving a cheery goodbye as if she had graced you with her presence in your pathetic life.
Yet the truth? You have lost numerous walk up clients in the half an hour TW wasted your time, and worried your manager will scold you for making a big fat £0, whereas your colleague smug Samantha has made a juicy £250 by just standing around.
Life is a bitch.
The Freeloader
How to identify:
Customers who no matter what, need to take anything “free” the brand has to offer, whether she buys or not. They are normally the ones who open their makeup bags and have sample satchets and pots tumble out.
Example 1:
“Do you have any gifts (plural) you could give me? It’s my birthday soon”
It’s probably not.
Example 2:
Gets a full foundation match “I love it. It’s the perfect colour and formula for me. I needed a new foundation as I was getting bored of my current one. Do you have a sample I can try?”
You give her a company allocated amount. She looks at it disapprovingly. “I’m actually going on holiday in two weeks and want it to last until then to see how it’ll last in the sun/ humidity/ plane/ in my own annoying aura blah blah blah... Can I have two more?”
Example 3:
Buys one lipstick. “Do you have any free samples I could try?”
I’m sorry, we are currently running really low, and the only thing we have is a foundation but it’s ten shades too dark for you.
“Oh that’s okay! I’ll use it as contour!!!”
Example 4:
She’s given one deluxe sized sample in accordance to a promotional offer. “Oh how lovely!! Could I have another one for my sister (smiles sweetly), she’d LOVE that!”
You give her another even though it’ll most likely get you into trouble.
“Oh gosh, my mother, best friend, aunt Betty and neighbour Sarah would LOVE it too....”
Fuck off.
Example 4:
She likes both the foundation and foundation brush but says she can’t afford both. “If I buy the foundation, can you give me the brush as a gift?”
Fuck off.
The Diva
How to identify:
The customer who is most likely to quote “Don’t you know who I am!?” These customers are normally unfriendly, wears dark sunglasses on a gloomy day and gets pissed off if you can’t recognise them from the one TV commercial they were in 20 years ago.
Example 1:
The Influencer: most are and or expect to be treated like A-list celebrities. They’ll walk around making mental notes of what they like, and either ask you to give them discounts as they’re a HPP high profile person (or highly pretentious prick) or ask for contact details for the PR team hoping they’ll be added onto the PR list and receive lots of PR goodies.
Example 2:
Celeb kids: The teen bratty child of celeb parents who demands to have their makeup done whenever they click their precious fingers. When you realistically cannot provide the service due to it being fully booked and prioritising regular paying and loyal customers, they stomp their designer shoes and use their last trump card “I know ‘so and so’ (normally head of PR) and she told me I could come and have my makeup done anytime” Yes love, within reason. I can’t physically throw any paying customers out of the makeup chair for you! Plus you will probably be very demanding, unrealistic, won’t buy anything AND demand freebies to take with you. This celeb kid isn’t even going to a red carpet event, they just want their makeup done to go to another spotty 14 year old’s house party whilst their parents are away holidaying in Monaco without them. I personally felt smug and wanted to say, HA, how does it feel being told NO you little spoilt brat. You can’t always have your way, because that’s life!
*Waves goodbye with my middle finger*
Example 3:
People who want to be treated like an A-lister but don’t have A-list money: This customer is the person who expects you to apply complicated makeup in an allocated time for a special event but doesn’t want to spend more than the booking fee amount. If you want to look like a celeb and use their (flawless skin, model cheekbones and perfect cat eyes) photo from Instagram as a makeup reference then (a) go get your eyes checked (b) go to a plastic surgeon (c) have a therapy session and (d) book a ticket to LA to have your makeup done by a celebrity makeup artist but pay your half year’s salary to fund this.
The Psycho
How to identify:
Customers who take their anger out on you for no reason. This person comes in with a pre-existing chip on their shoulder, foaming at the mouth, and they’re just pissed off at the world. They need a prey to take their anger out on but doing this with a makeup artist (or any person working in the service industry) is cowardly as they are easy targets and can’t fight back.
Example 1:
Discontinued products: Customers who fly into a blind rage when an item is discontinued. They blame you for all the world’s problems including Alaska’s ice melting, Trump’s inauguration and the reason they’re divorcing with their spouse. It’s a product. Calm the fuck down Mildred. You will find something similar or exactly the same in another brand. If not, you will still live and you won’t go blind.
Example 2:
Animal Rights crazy customers: Don’t get me wrong, I care and love the animal kingdom but there are weird people out there, who place more importance on animals than the life of a fellow human being. Don’t come in here ranting about whether something is cruelty free or not. Do you think by making a makeup artist feel small, that you’ve somehow contributed to a cruelty free world? You haven’t. You’ve just been a big fat cunt to someone who doesn’t deserve it and has no power to change anything. If you REALLY care and want to make a difference in the world, buy a one way ticket to China and protest there as loud and as much as you want. Bye bye now.
The Delusional
How to Identify:
This customer is the delusional and often unrealistic customer. They don’t mean any harm, but often demonstrate a lack of brain cells through their questions and actions.
Example 1:
The customer who wants the flawless skin of a baby cherub, yet when you ask them what they use to cleanse their skin, they are most likely to say the following…
“Water only”
“Face wipes”
“The cheapest skincare I could find in the drugstore”
“I don’t use moisturiser as I have sensitive skin”
“What is an exfoliator?”
“I can’t be bothered to dedicate time to a skincare routine, I’m too busy”
Saying all the above whilst laughing and expecting you to laugh back, but all the while, the makeup artist is silently screaming inside.
Example 2:
The customers who will directly apply a Herpes ridden lipstick straight from the bullet, but accusingly question the cleanliness of your hands and the makeup brushes you use. You’re more concerned about their dead skin cells rolling off onto your brushes and hands - who said beauty was glamorous?!
The Colour Expert
How to identify:
These customers are people who think they know more about colours or undertones more than you do. They’re the ones who insist you help them but don’t end up listening because they think they know better.
Example 1:
Customers who insist on a “nude” or natural toned, matte lipstick but end up choosing a bright pink, even though you picked out 200 nude and matte lipsticks to try to help them. It turns out their “nude and matte” meant, a bright fuchsia toned lipstick, with a gloss finish.
Example 2:
Customers who insist on your help but don’t listen because whatever colour you picked out, supposedly clashes with her green undertones. You’re not Shrek!
Example 3:
Customers who insist on trying a red lipstick when they’re a basic bitch and even though you warn them, they seem mortified that the red *shock horror* looks like RED. They then act like you were the one who recommended it to them in the first place, and that you’re the reason they feel like a hybrid of half clown and half prostitute.
Example 4:
Customers who say “I was shade matched by a machine that told me I was a number 3, can you match me to that exact tone please?” No I cannot. I know more than fucking Wall-E so give me the benefit of the doubt!
The BFF Makeup Artist Wannabe
How to identify:
These are the friends of the customers getting their makeup done. They can be identified by how unnecessarily overly involved they become. They’re not qualified makeup artists and have never applied makeup in their lives, but as soon as you start applying makeup, they think they are Pat Mc-fucking-Grath. They act like the expert over you and it makes you wonder why they just don’t take over in the first instance.
Example 1:
Friend says ”I read in a Cosmopolitan magazine once upon a time, that you should apply blush from the cheekbones upwards”. Oh really, did you? Next time my employer asks me what qualifications I have, I’ll tell them that I too, read a Cosmopolitan magazine in 1999.
Example 2:
Friend says ”Kerry (client) you need to suck in your cheeks in order to contour.” Oh really, Cassandra, where did you learn that from? Your marketing degree!?
Example 3:
Friend says ”I don’t think the colour of the lipstick suits you at all” when in fact, the client looks gorgeous and you’ve already identified that the friend is disguised as a jealous frenemy.
“The red lipstick makes you look older and emphasises your dark circles” *she giggles maliciously*
You respond by telling the client that she looks stunning, and that not many people cannot pull off a red like her. You then turn your back on the frenemy, shutting her out from the process and mentally stab her in the eye with the red lipstick.
The men
No intro required.
Example 1:
Men clearly buying for their mistresses/ sugar babies: I’ve seen men wait patiently whilst the client has her makeup done. During this time, I secretly pray and hope that the person sitting in the makeup chair is his granddaughter and not his lover. This hope is shattered the second, he whips out his credit card to pay and she seductively whispers “thank you baby” whilst running her hairs through his balding and white hair. Retch.
Example 2:
Men buying for their daughters: this is the cutest interaction. Often the daughters are teenagers who are shy and suffering from low self-esteem. The fathers (as uncomfortable and unfamiliar as they are), do their best to engage with the makeup artist on their daughter’s behalf. They will treat their beaming daughter to a makeup gift (who suddenly thinks her dad is the coolest), but at the same time, protectively discourages her from buying more products as she doesn’t need it.
Example 3:
Last minute shoppers: you can normally identify these men from the sweat beads that have formed on their foreheads and the ‘rabbit caught in headlights’ panicked look when they enter the shop. They might as well have “HELP ME!” tattooed across their foreheads. Half of these men are willing to pay whatever price to keep their other half happy and the rest, jaws fall to the floor when they find out the price of a foundation is £30 or above. You normally have to snatch the card out of their reluctant clamped fingers and watch them pitifully as they exit the shop with their jaws still dragging behind them.
Magic Moments
Whilst I have highlighted the ‘problem’ customers, there are of course normal and lovely customers; although, the above customers are unfortunately the most common types to shop in a makeup store. “Magic moments” is a common makeup industry phrase that is used to describe, literally special moments you’ve shared or managed to create for a customer. When I used to work in the makeup industry, there were countless examples of women who were/ are extremely beautiful on the inside and outside. Below are some examples of customers I have come across, where I felt humbled and like I was empowering someone with the power of makeup.
Example 1:
The A&E nurse who dedicates the majority of her time at work and doesn’t have any time for self care or self love. After her makeup application, she cried and thanked me for making her feel like a “woman again”.
Example 2:
The powerful banking boss lady who at work, is fierce and admired. In the makeup chair, she becomes vulnerable to a stranger intimately applying makeup for her and shares she wants to feel beautiful again after her husband of 20+ years had an affair with a much younger woman. I found out it was her birthday the same day, and by the end, it felt like we were old friends as we had laughed and shared stories. She promised not to be a door mat anymore and shared that the makeup made her feel empowered. Apparently I was the best part of her birthday…
Example 3:
The woman who recently divorced from an abusive partner and who’s self-esteem was completely shattered. She nervously enters the store and looks mortified that the makeup application will take place on the shop floor. After plenty of reassurance, heart to hearts, and lots of encouragement, she looks at herself in the mirror and smiles at herself with tears in her eyes; for the first time seeing the woman she is inside…strong and beautiful.
Example 4:
The couple who book a makeup application session together. It turns out the woman became partially blind and lost the ability to apply makeup herself. Sight is something we can take for granted in our lives. Her boyfriend wants to learn and eagerly asks questions as he wants to help his girlfriend apply makeup in the mornings, although we both agree she is beautiful with or without makeup.
Conclusion:
If you receive good customer service from staff who welcome you and who genuinely seem hardworking, my advice is... don’t be a dick. How would you like it if you were at your work place and 70% of your clients were unnecessarily rude to you and took their anger out on you making the rest of your day/ week/ month miserable?
If you want your makeup done, be clear but also realistic in what you want from the makeup artist. If you don’t already look like a supermodel, no amount of makeup will change this. Makeup artists are skilled artists, not surgeons or miracle workers. Be proud of your own kind of beauty and let the makeup enhance your natural features.
Unless you have intentions of buying, don’t waste a makeup artist’s time. Plainly said, it’s rude and you just look like a cheapskate. You couldn’t walk into a restaurant, enjoy a meal for an hour and then say, “I’m not going to pay for it without seeing how my food digests first”. You also can’t walk into a hairdressers and say, “I love the cut but I won’t pay now as I want to see how it grows out”.
Whether you’re aware of this of not, almost every makeup artist has a daily, weekly and monthly target they need to hit. This means, the more you waste your time, the less likely they are to reach their targets. This means nothing to you, but (a) it adds lots of pressure on the makeup artist to make more money for the remainder of the day (thanks to your time wasting) (b) they are accountable for their statistics and are going to have to explain to their manager why they couldn’t hit target at their next 121 meeting (c) they will lose out on incentives and other bonuses that they deserve, even though they’ve worked their backside off for you.
The moral of the story is to be nice and don’t be a knob. Karma is a bitch and if you’re unnecessarily rude to someone because you’re on a power trip, on your way out, you’ll trip on the pavement and break your nose.
—————————————————————————————————
Part II will be about what it’s like to work for a beauty company, the colleagues and head office politics. Until then xo
